© meliapond
posted 6 hours ago with 467,831 notes
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woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

posted 6 hours ago with 42,577 notes
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posted 6 hours ago with 126,310 notes
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getthepiesammy:

kupokat:

otterboxes:

HOW THE HECK WOULD MERMAIDS HAVE BABIES

sea-sections

I told this to my friend and she just got up and left

posted 6 hours ago with 27,505 notes
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#GOTTA KILL THE MAN ON THE BRIDGE  #BUT FIRST LET’S STRIKE A POSE  #DUCK-FACE ON #READY TO ROLL
posted 6 hours ago with 14,442 notes
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littletrenchcoatangel:

i’m sorry but this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen and it’s not even supposed to be cute

littletrenchcoatangel:

i’m sorry but this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen and it’s not even supposed to be cute

Source:littletrenchcoatangel
posted 6 hours ago with 190,959 notes
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  • girl/boy: *diagnosed with anorexia*
  • everyone: kids in 3rd world countries would give anything for that food, and you refuse it!
  • girl/boy: *diagnosed as bulimic*
  • everyone: cancer patients with give anything to be able to keep their food in, and you choose to throw it up!
  • girl/boy: *diagnosed as a binge eater*
  • everyone: chill your fat ass out, some kids eat once a day!
  • girl/boy: *suicidal*
  • everyone: people die every day, you should be grateful for your life!
  • girl/boy: *self harms*
  • everyone: lots of people have it worse than you, be grateful about how good you have it!
  • girl/boy: *has anxiety*
  • everyone: stop freaking out over everything, it's not that big of a deal!
  • girl/boy:
  • girl/boy: yep that fixed everything thanks
posted 6 hours ago with 869,601 notes
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keatchi:

itssofluffy-im-gonna-die:

h4te:

i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free

that’s called night robbery 

so be it

posted 6 hours ago with 95,705 notes
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FINALLY SOMEONE GIFFED THIS

Source:howtobealittlebitch
posted 6 hours ago with 17,861 notes
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dooweeooh:

SYLVESTER CAREFUL

Source:dooweeooh
posted 6 hours ago with 5,593 notes
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-just-whatever-:

JENSEN ACKLES WATCHING A GAME SHIRTLESS AND SHOWING HIS MUSCLES CALL AN AMBULANCE

-just-whatever-:

JENSEN ACKLES WATCHING A GAME SHIRTLESS AND SHOWING HIS MUSCLES CALL AN AMBULANCE

Source:-just-whatever-